The Language of Gods
Code-Fiction Fusion. 600 words, 3 minute read. With ChatGPT o3.
// ───────────── Scene 1 : bootstrap() ─────────────
function bootstrap() {
Jason.location = "Google Shuttle, Mountain View";
Jason.feels = ["ping of mom's text", "sun like a high-res monitor"];
displayBanner("WELCOME, NEW GRADS – Enjoy Your 5-Year Sabbatical!");
}
Jason Harrison steps onto campus as if someone executed a --force-upgrade on reality. Lawn-bots hum. Bikes in Google-prime colours loop like Lissajous curves.
A sea-foam-hoodie approaches.
agent Shilpa = new Agent("Onboarding", spf50=true);
Shilpa.greet(Jason);
“Breakfast’s that way—açai so purple it’d short-circuit a Pantone swatch,” she says, already swiping his phone with a QR handshake. Jason nods, firewalling his Indiana vowels. Inside the café, he watches engineers spoon bee pollen as if debugging their mitochondria. The açai tastes like frozen astronomy.
Beside the smoothie station, an older Googler wheels out a suitcase plastered with stickers: SHIPPED 2019, EXIT 2024. Security salutes. Vacation over; checkout confirmed.
Jason pockets his spoonful of dread.
// ───────────── Scene 2 : orientation() ─────────────
function orientation(room) {
HR.slide("BENEFITS.json");
Jason.sheet("cost_of_living.xlsx").open();
}
The glass box of Orientation overheats with growth curves and slogans (“BREAK THINGS, NOT PEOPLE”). Rafi, neon trainers and irreverent grin, leans close:
$ whisper "Spin class tonight. Free for first-timers. Cardio + cult."
“Sure,” Jason whispers back, hoping the shell command hides the quake in his voice.
When HR brags about nap pods, Jason toggles back to his spreadsheet. The numbers march downward like falling stock: bonus ÷ rent ÷ time. A silent cron-job reminding him the resort has a clock.
A hand rises—his. “What should we wear for spin? I’m from, uh, cooler latitudes.”
Laughter pings the glass walls. Shilpa flashes a thumbs-up; the joke commits successfully.
# ───────────── Scene 3 : free_lunch() ─────────────
plate = {"protein": "tempeh bulgogi", "side": "seaweed slaw"}
table = locate("Nina", "Rafi")
Patio tables soak in coastal light. Nina, ponytail sun-bleached, nudges a seat toward him.
“Tempeh’s Midwest BBQ after a mindfulness retreat,” she says.
Jason chews smoky sweetness. Phones buzz: Slack hails, stand-up reminders, a muted text from Mom: send pics. He flips the device over; its glass feels suddenly resort-fragile.
Nina sips sparkling mate. “Lease length?”
“Six months—landlord calls it the ‘beta tier’.”
She laughs. “Month five is decision day for most of us. Renew or reboot.”
Across the courtyard, a dev packs cardboard boxes stamped PROPERTY OF GOOGLE. Five-year vest, gone in sixty minutes.
Rafi murmurs, “Refresh-token turnover.”
Nina changes tabs: “Ocean Beach, dawn. First surf lesson’s on me.”
Jason scrolls for excuses, finds none. “I’ll bring SPF and existential terror.”
// ───────────── Scene 4 : spin_lock(); ─────────────
studio.init({ aroma:"grapefruit", bpm:140 });
bike.attach(Jason.shoes);
Black-light fitness cathedral. Instructor stalks the dais: “Clip in, prototypes—we’re refactoring doubt!”
Pedals resist until Nina kneels, snaps him secure. “Double-tap your heels to eject when enlightenment downloads.”
Music drops. Bass big enough to mine crypto. Jason’s quads fire interrupts; sweat logs overflow. Yet humiliation fails to crash the program—everybody’s overclocked.
Instructor yells, “Nobody coasts in paradise—crank that resistance!”
He twists the dial. Spindly Indiana roads spool in his head: cracked asphalt, cicadas, the barn’s ghost smell. Back home, effort was honest; here, even pain comes artisanal.
Adrenaline spikes, syntax blurs. For thirty seconds he is pure process:
while (breath) { pedal++; }.
Then cool-down. Lights fade up to human-safe lumens. Outside, Mission Street fog drapes neon like soft-link symlinks.
Nina towels sweat from her brow. “Diagnostic?”
“I burned through a decade of electrolytes,” he pants.
Rafi taps his watch. “Ramen patch in five?”
Phone buzz: Mom: everything okay? Jason thumbs later.
They walk. A mural glows: KEEP SHINING – CHECKOUT AT NOON. The paint already peels, revealing concrete underneath.
Jason inhales salted night, feels the timestamp tick quietly in the background—but lets the program run anyway.
return 0; // vacation still compiling